Tom is a 1971 graduate of Cardinal Newman. A former student
at St. Rose Elementary and a Santa Clara University
graduate (1975), Tom has spent 49 years in the Catholic school system.
In his 31st year of teaching (18 years at Cardinal Newman and 12
years at Justin-Siena High School in Napa), he returns home to teach
and coach once again at his alma mater. Tom has taught all of the social
sciences and many of the math and sciences in his 31 years of teaching.
I have spent 49 of my 54 years in Catholic education – as a student, teacher and coach. My father, Dutch, was adamant about his children seriously engaging in THREE PURSUITS: study hard, say your prayers and go to mass, love of family and hard work – always your best effort at all things you do. My father believed that Catholic education was a tremendous gift – besides his love- the greatest gift that he could five his children. He always told my brother Jerry and I “get a good education – no one can ever take that away from you”.
My father gave up a basketball scholarship to University of Santa Clara to take over the kitchen at Lena’s when my grandmother Lena got diabetes – making the ultimate sacrifice for his family. My uncle Kewp graduated from St. Rose elementary in its first class of 1931 – he always loved Sister Mary Peter – we all did. I went through St. Rose elementary – I was serious about my faith – my beloved Ursuline nuns made sure of that! I can still remember every teacher at every grade level – what MARVELOUS teachers. My favorite was my 8th grade teacher Sister Marietta Devine – she taught me to love God, like math, and to believe in my abilities. We stayed in close contact until her death (she died of cancer). The positive energy she emanated was remarkable.
I was an altar boy from 3rd to 8th grade at St. Rose – Father Persano was our teacher – we had to learn all the responses of the Mass in Latin – the Confiteor was quite a chore for a third grader! I also developed a very close relationship with a very holy man – my pastor Monsignor Tappe. I feared and admired Monsignor Tappe throughout my St. Rose years. I served the 6:45 mass with him through my elementary years. I can remember coming into the sacristy every morning – still dark and he was sitting in his chair – reading scripture. I’d sit down and we would talk – those early mornings taught me a lot about the Bible, God, and what it really meant to live your life – dedicated to God and to His people.
My years at Cardinal Newman were very special years – being taught by a wonderful band of Precious Blood Brothers. It was at Cardinal Newman that I encountered the two greatest influences in my life: Coach Lloyd and Coach Fitzgerald, my football and basketball coaches. They were GREAT TEACHERS – the things that they taught would remain in my heart and soul forever. I still draw upon these positive experiences and their timeless wisdom. In my most difficult episodes of my life I would draw upon the things that they taught. Coach Fitzgerald in particular was a very devout Catholic – his light in his eyes when he spoke about God and our faith was like a conversion – I felt like St. Paul getting knocked off my horse! His impressive coaching record of 290-111 was dwarfed by his example of the way he lived his life – God was ALWAYS the focal point. He had an Irish temper but I have never heard one of his players say that the man ever uttered a swear word. He lived his faith, led by example – we all loved and admired this humble giant of a man who “walked the talk”.
After my high school years I went to the University of Santa Clara – having a great experience and developing many life long relationships. I struggled during these years, my father died suddenly shortly after I turned 18 – my mother had a nervous breakdown – I thank God to this day – I had a brother who was my guardian angel. He ran the restaurant – so I could get an education. I graduated from University of Santa Clara in 1975. And although I had intended on going to law school when my old principal at Cardinal Newman offered me a job teaching and coaching at the age of 22, I prayed on the prospect and accepted the job. My professional life was fairly successful but I struggled a lot during my late 20’s and 30’s with character flaws – particularly the capital sin of PRIDE and my most insurmountable demon – alcohol. When I left Cardinal Newman in 1995 – and through God’s providence – moved over to teach and coach at Justin-Siena in Napa. I would liken this time to the time that one spends at a crossroads of your life. I came to a lot of painful realizations about who I was and who I really wanted to be. The analogy of “foot prints” was in full play – I really turned to my God and the unconditional love of my family. Looking back I know that Jesus was carrying me on his shoulders. I tried my hardest to make a psychic change to eliminate bad habits and become the role model that my God would want to be as the teacher of his children. I think over these last 13 years I’ve made a lot of progress. Today I completely trust my God, his son Jesus, my Holy Spirit, his angels and saints, and especially my Blessed Mother. There were times when I know she was holding me in the palm of her hand. I lost my lovely wife Norma Jean 18 months ago – she died suddenly of a brain aneurism.
I tell my students daily that “life is God’s greatest gift and greatest
challenge”. Today I start and finish every day with a prayer. Every
morning I thank God for another day. I see God’s miracles every day,
I teach 123 miracles every day. They are your sons, daughters, grandchildren,
and nephews and nieces. I am a sinner – like we all are – as I tell
my students “I certainly don’t pretend to have a halo”. God has blessed
me with allowing me to do something I really love – teaching. It is
a vocation.
I know as a teacher I am demanding, sometimes overbearing, I am committed
to the best interests of my students – to making them quality human
beings. I think discipline is a very high form of love, and I do love
my students. As those great teachers and role models I experienced in
my early years – I don’t judge them – I care about them and they know
it. That is what truly matters. My teaching is about mentoring them
through the most difficult time of their lives. How easy is it to be
an adolescent in 2007? I am firm on my standards and I am demanding
but always fair and willing to listed to what they need to say. I think
I’ve become a better listener – when I pray, I thank, I ask, but most
importantly I listen to the spirit – my prayers are always answered
in God’s time. As the great basketball coach – my favorite John Wooden,
the former coach at UCLA says, “good things take time” – they do. I
learn daily from the greatest teachers – my students. They are honest,
profound, and teach us to laugh at ourselves when we need to.
My students sometimes ask me “what do you think is the hardest/most difficult thing for any person to do during their lifetime?” My childhood mentor Monsignor Tappe always insisted “the most difficult thing for a human being to do is to forgive – it is divine in nature – only the Son of God, Jesus Christ hanging on the Cross in total innocence – could make the request “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. Jesus tells us in the Our Father “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. Monsignor Tappe was right; forgiving one who has wronged us is most difficult. I’ve wronged my God and a lot of people in my lifetime. Today I pray to be as forgiving as I can be. Trying to be compassionate with others and praying hard to the Holy Spirit for that gift has helped me! To forgive we must overcome our own pride – realizing sometimes being right or wrong is of secondary not primary importance. I’m very happy to be back at Cardinal Newman. I will always be appreciative of my Bishop Daniel Walsh, my Principal Graham Rutherford and my President Mike Truesdell for offering me a gift that most people don’t get, a second chance.
At this point in my life serenity is most important. I need to be at
peace with myself, my God, and the people around me. I enjoy my time
with God, my students and the special people in my life. I focus on
being grateful for what I have been given, not for what I don’t have.
I try to serve God the best I can. I know children are his most prized
possessions. We are all God’s work in progress. I am a grateful servant
trying to do his master’s work. We are all teachers. The way we live
our life teaches everyone around us, those we know, and even those we
don’t know. We teach by what we say and what we do. That’s why, today,
I am more careful in my choices of words and actions. I do my best every
day to learn and I know I still have a lot to learn – and today I make
it a daily mission to thank God for the opportunity. After 31 years
now, my students come back. They often tell me that I’ve made a positive
difference in their lives. It is the affirmation of a former student
– now a good mother or father, now a responsible adult with character
– that truly warms the soul of any true teacher. When a former player
comes back that I coached 27 years ago and he is retiring from the Marine
Corps and he calls me “Coach” and gives me a hug, or a lovely lady that
is happily married and the mother of four children comes up 19 years
later and says “Mr. Bonfigli – you were my favorite teacher,” all the
difficulties in the pursuit of teaching melt away in a split second.
The satisfaction of the moment can quickly bring a tear to your eye.
As I said earlier, “good things take time”.